How To Meet Men IRL
In 2024, dating apps are out and meeting men in the wild is in. For a quick recap, this past year brought major dating app burnout as singles were frustrated that they were not seeing anyone they liked, and tired of matches not responding or not moving the match to a date. As a result, singles are going to lean into meeting potential partners in real life aka the old school way.
Check out my last blog post all about Dating Ins & Outs for 2024 to hear more about this.
So how do you actually meet men IRL?
Be More Social - In 2024, it’s time to make more of an effort to be social. Try new restaurants, attend a sporting event, hit up the bar scene with some girlfriends, go mini golfing, be active with local hikes / trails. Whether you enjoy the drinking scene or if you are sober curious, there are endless ways to get out there and find yourself in situations to meet people. But you have to make the effort to actually put yourself in these situations. If you are sick of the dating apps, then yes, you will need to get off the couch and put yourself out there more. But the good news? All of these social activities are fun! So no matter what, you should be enjoying yourself. But by putting yourself in more social situations, the reality is you are only increasing your chances of meeting someone IRL.
Lean Into Your Hobbies - The new year is a great time to explore the hobbies you love but are not making the time for. Make a list of a few of your hobbies that open you up to meeting and mingling with new people. Then, find places in your area with group activities centered around these hobbies. Pick the one you are most excited about and start going to the meetups for a few months. You never know who you are going to meet! Even if you end up meeting a new friend, you never know who that person might introduce you to. The other great thing about leaning into your hobbies is that even if you don’t meet a romantic partner, you are still spending your time doing something you enjoy!
Go to Singles Events - With the decline of dating apps, there is going to be a rise in singles events this year. We already saw more of these events in 2023 and I think we will only continue to see them increase. And these events are no longer just for people who struggle socially. The stigma around these events is gone and all different types of people are leaning into them. So look into these events in your area through local groups, podcast meetups and dating apps. I recommend checking out First Round’s On Me specifically. This is a new dating app whose focus is on making a date actually happen and they have been hosting singles events in different major cities. I’m also seeing a lot of variety in these events, everything from a yoga retreat to a mixer to a shopping event. Much like your hobbies, find one with a theme or activity that speaks to you to increase the likelihood of there being people with similar interests. And just remember, not every event is going to be a major success so continue to put yourself out there, be patient and have fun with it!
Ok so now that you're out and about more, how do you get a man to actually approach you?
Keep It Small - Here’s the deal, it takes a man with a lot of confidence to approach a group of five plus girls. And it can certainly happen but ideally being out with one to two other people is a much easier situation for a guy to approach. I once went out with three girlfriends and the second two of them went to the bathroom, my other friend and I were instantly approached multiple times. There was just something about approaching four girls vs two girls that made it much easier for them. So moral of the story, keep it small.
Eye Contact & A Smile - If you see a guy across the room and he’s piqued your interest, you need to give him cues that you are interested and want him to come up to you. Easiest way to do this? Eye contact and a smile. Make sure to catch his gaze and give him a smile a few times so he knows these cues are intentional. This will give him the confidence he needs to make his move.
Make Yourself Approachable - It’s all about your body language. You need to position yourself and your body in a way that’s easily approachable. Don’t stand in a circle with your back to the room. Make sure your body is open to receiving someone. So instead of your back to the room, make sure your front is facing outwards / towards his direction so he can easily walk right up and say hi. If he has to tap you on the shoulder or make a big effort to get your attention, you’re making it hard for him. Be open not just mentally and emotionally but with your body cues as well.
If he doesn’t approach you after using these tactics, then hey - he’s not your guy! So consider that good practice and get ready to try them again on the next one. With time and some successes, it will come more naturally to you. Just remember, you need to create an open and inviting environment with some cues that you are interested in order for a man to approach you. And these three cues will do just that.
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The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
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