Navigating The Holidays Single
And just like that, it’s the holiday season again. A time of year that is fun and exciting for most but can cause a lot of sadness and stress for singles. Listen, it makes sense. The holidays can bring up a lot of feelings of loneliness, shame and longing for a partner. Everywhere you look there are holiday rom-coms, jewelry commercials, videos of cute couples getting cozy next to the Christmas tree. So it makes total sense that these types of feelings are coming up. Especially when you have the daunting expectation that family members are going to ask about your relationship status.
So how do you respond to family and friends asking about your love life over the holidays?
Don’t make it a big deal - You don’t need to get upset or mad when someone asks you this question. I know you might want to roll your eyes or give them a snarky answer back but that’s only going to draw more attention to the topic and your feelings about it. Instead, keep it simple. Show confidence about where you are in your life and move on to the next topic.
Redirect the conversation - You have so many other things going on besides just your love life. Shift the focus away from being single and bring up other topics. Tell them about the trip you have coming up, your latest accomplishment at work or a hobby you’ve been really into lately. Remind them and yourself that you have a full life that’s not dependent on your relationship status.
You don't owe anyone an explanation - A lot of times we feel a need to explain why we are single but you don’t owe anyone anything. If you want to mention that you enjoy being single and don't want to settle then go for it. But a simple response is completely fine here. You don’t need to go down a rabbit hole and defend yourself. Because you have nothing to defend, being single is more than okay.
These types of conversations can certainly be a trigger especially during the holidays. But remember that these people love you and just want to know about your life. Trust me, if you were in a relationship then they would just be asking when you’re getting engaged. And if you were engaged, they would just be asking when you were getting married. It’s not personal, it’s just an easy topic that people gravitate towards. But that doesn’t mean feelings won’t come up after having one too many of these conversations.
Here are a few key things to shift your mindset during the holidays.
Remember what you are grateful for - There is so much to reflect on during the holidays besides your relationship status. For example, how lucky you are for your health, happiness and family. Tap into that and remind yourself of everything you have and come from a place of gratitude.
Focus on the new year - There’s a brand new year ahead of you with limitless opportunities. Take this time to relax, reset and prep for the new year. Think about goals you want to set for yourself, habits you want to implement and hobbies you want to try. Most importantly, reflect on this past year and the lessons you have learned and grown from. Take this time for yourself so you start the new year off strong.
Take a break from dating - December is a tough time for dating. Most people are busy travelling, wrapping up their year and focusing on the holidays. So this is the perfect time to take a break and focus on yourself. This will help shift your mind away from being single and focus on other things.
Lean into the holiday fun - Whether you’re in a relationship or single, the holidays have so much to offer. There are Christmas themed bars, holiday parties, ice skating, light shows. And sure, maybe you wish you were doing these activities with a partner but that doesn’t mean you can’t still participate and enjoy them.
What we tend to forget this time of year is that December is just another month. It’s going to come and go just like it did last year. So don’t put so much weight on what it means and how it affects you. Make December about enjoying yourself, spending time with family and friends and setting yourself up for the new year.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
