Why Do Dating Apps Suck?
The biggest complaint I get about dating is that the apps suck. I am chatting to singles all the time and it’s always the first thing people bring up. The apps are terrible, there are no good people on there, I never get dates from them. The narrative is mostly negative when it comes to dating apps. So why do dating apps suck? The truth is that during COVID, people leaned into the apps more than before because it was really the only way to meet someone. But then in a post-COVID world, there was a high level of burnout. Everyone was tired of swiping online and craved in person connection. This caused a lot of laziness when it came to the apps so singles experienced less matches, less intentional conversations and less dates coming from those matches.
The harsh reality is - it is what it is. This is just the current landscape of dating apps. But at the end of the day, you can either embrace the apps or keep hating them. Ultimately, the choice is up to you. While the apps can be frustrating, they are also a method of meeting a partner that past generations did not have. It gives you the opportunity to meet more people. People that you maybe wouldn’t meet otherwise. And that is certainly a massive win.
If you don’t like the apps, how can you shift your mindset?
Be proactive - Think about if you’re part of the problem. Are you barely swiping and not starting conversations? Are you ghosting conversations? The answer is most likely yes. So instead of adding to the problem, be the solution. And that means being proactive on the apps. Make sure you’re spending time looking at your likes and starting conversations. Interested in someone? Don't let the conversation fizzle. Being proactive in your own dating life is when you will start to see positive changes.
Get out there - If you are only using the apps to find a potential partner, then it makes sense why you are feeling burnt out and frustrated. When you see the apps as your only option to meet someone, you’re putting a lot of pressure on it to work out. Instead, look at the apps as one of the many tools in your dating toolbox. Make sure to put yourself out there in other ways like being social, joining clubs, going to dating events, asking friends to set you up. This will take some of the focus away from the apps and into other parts of your life.
Take breaks - When it feels like the apps are just draining you and taking away from your day to day life more than it’s adding to it, it’s completely okay to take breaks. Like anything in life, things will ebb and flow. So if it’s not feeling aligned for you, delete the apps completely and come back to it in a few weeks or months. You’ll return to the apps with a fresh mindset and excitement.
Listen, the dating apps are here to stay. So you can either embrace it or continue to get discouraged by it. At the end of the day, you’re only going to get out of it what you put into it. And that decision is up to you. Just remember that there is also an increase in people looking to meet a partner in other ways besides online. Take advantage of these different avenues so it’s not just about the apps. Having a well rounded and full dating life means being on the apps while also putting yourself out there in real life.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
