Crushes
Crushes are no longer just for the teenage years. They are important even into adult life as you navigate dating. Grab a pen or start a note in your phone and create a crush list. This can be people you know, someone you saw walking down the street, celebrities. The list is endless and you should keep removing and adding to it.
So why are crushes important to your dating life? Allowing yourself to have crushes also allows you to get excited about the potential of what is out there. Working out next to a cute guy or standing in line for coffee next to someone you like? Let this be a little serotonin boost and a reminder that there are people out there who you are attracted to. It makes your single life a little more fun! Also, having crushes and creating a crush list is a form of manifestation. You’re telling the universe what you like and writing it down as a way to channel those wants into a reality. This list can help you gain clarity into what you like and ultimately attract that type of person.
But crushes don’t have to be an abstract concept. As you are newly dating someone, this is when a crush will hopefully develop in real life. You’re starting to get to know someone on a deeper level and increasing your connection which should make you like them more. If you don’t have a crush on someone you’re newly dating then that would be a reason to think about how much you really like them. Let yourself get excited about this new crush and enjoy the early stages.
Here are a few guidelines to remember with real life crushes:
You don’t truly know this person - It takes upwards of 6 months to truly know a person. So while it’s great and exciting to develop a crush, it’s also important to remember that you don’t know them yet. There is still a lot to learn and unpack that will help you decide if this crush should turn into something more serious.
Don’t get ahead of yourself - Enjoy these early stages of dating for what they are and don’t start future tripping. Future tripping is when you imagine the future with this person and what could be. It blurs your vision and shifts your focus away from the reality and instead on the outcome. Make sure you’re living in the moment and taking note of the facts rather than the potential.
Don’t ignore the red flags - When you have a crush and you’re excited about the potential, you tend to ignore the red flags. And this is a bad path to go down because those flags are telling you that this person is not right for you. Enjoy getting to know your crush but also take the crush goggles off and determine if this person is actually a good fit for you long term.
Dating should be fun! And one way to make it fun is to allow yourself to have crushes. Some crushes you will never see again but that’s just enough to get you excited to date again. Or, your crush could be someone you are newly dating. Regardless, they allow you to enjoy the small things, have fun with being single and manifest your future partner.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
