Dating Goals
I know how monotonous dating can become especially when you’ve been in the game for a long time. And this can cause people to get lazy when it comes to dating. We see it every day in people not responding on the apps or no one approaching each other when out and about. It’s normal that you start to go into autopilot and just go through the motions. Or sometimes stop doing anything all together to move your dating life forward. But if finding your person is important to you, then you need to focus on it while finding ways to keep it fresh and fun. This is where setting goals can be a crucial part of your dating life.
So why should you set dating goals?
Holds you accountable - Like I said, it’s easy to get bored with dating and become lazy in your efforts. By setting goals for your dating life, you are asking yourself to accomplish something and therefore, holding yourself accountable. As a result, you will start taking responsibility for your own actions rather than focusing on other people and their actions. This will keep you motivated to keep going even when you don’t want to.
Gets you out of your comfort zone - Choose goals that will push you to try something new or to do something you have been putting off for awhile. We want dating to feel fun so trying new things allows you to find new experiences and create new behaviors. These experiences and behaviors will not only have a positive effect on your dating life but also help you grow as a person.
Makes dating a priority - It’s so much easier to just not respond to a Hinge match or to not go up to the cute guy at the bar. But by making goals around dating, you are making it a priority in your life. And by making dating a priority, you are in turn making yourself a priority. Because there's a very important reason why you want to keep putting yourself out there so it’s important not to lose sight of that.
The most important part of this is making the right goals. We want to set you up for success so remember these key guidelines when thinking of the goals you want to create.
Make it achievable - The number 1 rule of goal setting is to make sure it’s something you can actually complete. If it’s too difficult to achieve, then you will just get frustrated and give up. For example, setting a goal to go on three dates a week is a little much. Besides it being difficult to do, it would also be extremely draining. Instead, set a goal to go on two dates a month. Achievable and won’t leave you feeling completely exhausted.
Let it push you - While you want it to be achievable, you also want it to push you out of your comfort zone. And you don’t want it to be too easy. Use this as an opportunity to try something you’ve been wanting to do but maybe have been a bit nervous or hesitant about. Let this goal give you that extra push you need to get out there and do it. For example, going on a solo dinner date or attending a dating event.
Look forward to it - Enjoying the dating experience is part of the journey. So yes, the goal might scare you a bit but you also want to be excited about it. Otherwise, you probably won’t complete it. For example, think of a hobby you love and find a group that meets once or twice a month. Incorporating things you love will only add to the experience.
I know it can feel like we are going back to the basics here but hey, it’s basic for a reason. Setting goals is proven to keep you focused, feel accomplished, trigger new behaviors and ultimately make you happier. So why not add that into your dating life? It’s a great way to change things up a bit and challenge yourself to make your dating life better. We tend to put a lot of blame on outside factors - the opposite sex, location, social media, apps, etc. So by setting goals, you are taking control of your dating life and doing everything you can to make it better.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
