Finding A Partner w/ Aligned Values

I know how hard it can be to find the right person, someone with the same values as you. I hear it constantly – how hard it is to find someone who aligns with your belief systems. But my challenge to you is – shouldn’t finding the right person be hard? We are all unique, complex and dynamic people. So it shouldn’t really be a surprise that you’re not finding all of these people with the same values or at least the ones you need in a partner. Because everyone is different. And finding the right person who you want to spend the rest of your life with, is a complicated thing. And sure, some people luck out and find that person sooner than others. But when you really think about it, it makes sense that you need to date a lot of people to find the right one with the values you are looking for in a partner. Plus, part of the beauty of dating is meeting and connecting with people who are different from you. People who might teach you something new or open your eyes to a quality or value you didn’t even know you wanted in someone.

A mindset shift here is to think about how if you’re dating someone and their values don’t align, then that’s a sign that they are not your person. It’s loud and clear for you. So think of it as a positive rather than a negative. The universe is moving you away from the wrong person and instead, one step closer to the right person.

So how do you find a partner with aligned values?

• Make sure you are clear on your own values – Sit down and write out your top 5 values and why they are important to you. A lot of people have a vague idea of their own personal values and that will only make finding someone with similar values that much harder. Because how can you truly judge if a person aligns with your own values when you are not even sure what they are?

• Get clear on your need to have’s vs nice to have’s – There is a difference between these two things and it’s important you know that distinction. We all have a lot that we are looking for in a partner but what is truly a need to have and what is just a nice to have. Make sure these are true compatibility qualities and not just surface level bonuses. This should be about who this partner is as a human and how they show up authentically day to day and in a relationship.

• Know what your red flags and deal breakers are – Understanding what is a warning sign and what are fundamental disagreements that are worth ending a relationship over is critical in finding the right partner. The clearer you can be with this, the sooner you will be able to spot the wrong person and move on to find the right person.

If you want to find the right person with aligned values, then that means you need to do the work to understand what that even means. You attract the energy you put out into the world. So by being clear on what you are looking for, you will become clearer in your dating life while also attracting that type of partner. And remember, finding your person is going to take time. You will need to date around and explore in order to find that perfect match.

Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!

The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.

The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.

Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.

The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.

Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.