Dating Rules Unpacked
There is A LOT of conflicting information out there when it comes to dating and being single. Everywhere you look - social media, podcasts, friends & family - there are rules, theories and advice. And they all seem to have different perspectives on what you should and should not do. As a result, everyone I talk to is feeling confused and overwhelmed by which ones to follow and what to do. So which dating rules should you be following?
I am a huge believer that you always need to do what feels right for you. The dating rules and theories that resonate with me, might not resonate with you. And that is totally okay! When you hear these dating rules, check in with yourself and ask if it feels right for you. This is the perfect example of a time when you should listen to your gut and trust yourself. Do what feels right and throw out anything that doesn’t. Also, dating should be fun and playful! So try different things out and see how it feels. Continue to lean into the advice that feels good and move past the ones that don’t. If you try a dating rule and you don’t end up liking it, then you never have to follow that rule again. Sometimes trying different things and mixing it up will elicit different outcomes or will just help you learn more about yourself and dating.
There is a podcast host in the dating space who always preaches that you should never text a guy thank you after the first date. Her reasoning is that you should have thanked him while on the date and if you text after then how will you know if that person is interested in you. I personally disagree with this rule and don’t implement it in my own dating life. Yes, always say thank you on the actual date. But if I really enjoyed myself and want to let him know that, then I usually send a thank you text letting him know I got home safely. And how will you know if the person is interested? If they ask you on a second date. It’s as simple as that.
Another rule is how often someone should be texting you when you are newly dating. Again, this is really dependent on each person and situation. Just because someone is saying that you should hear from someone X times a week, doesn’t mean that’s true. Maybe both of you have very busy jobs or you don’t like to chit chat over text and would prefer to save it for the date. Again, deciding what works for you in your own life and in a relationship is key here.
At the end of the day, the right person won’t really care if you text first. The right person will respond kindly and openly when you communicate that something is bothering you. And the right person won’t make you feel confused or question how they feel. Dating really should be simple but we tend to overcomplicate and overthink things. But if you are overthinking everything you do or every move they make, then that could mean that this is not the right person for you. The right person won’t cause you to look up every dating theory or rule and how it applies to your situation. Because things will flow easily and effortlessly.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
