Feeling Lonely & Single
This week I want to chat about one of the main feelings that can come up when you are single. And that is feeling lonely. Feeling lonely is a normal and natural emotion that you feel when you are single. It’s literally in the definition - “feeling sad or solitary without a companion”. So it’s important to validate that it is more than okay to feel this way and that it is part of the process and emotions that can come with being single. It’s important to validate and acknowledge those feelings and not just brush them under the rug or ignore them. But then, how do you move past those feelings and into a more happy and content place?
Lean into people who make you feel loved. These are the times to connect with the people in your life who remind you that you are not alone. Whether it’s making plans to spend time together or catching up over the phone. Reminding yourself that you have people in your life is a great way to help move you out of loneliness.
Find activities & hobbies that allow you to be around other people. Sometimes just being around other people will help you feel a lot less lonely. Even just going to a group workout class or doing work at a coffee shop. Alone time at home is great and very necessary for a balanced life, but it can also heighten those lonely feelings. Being out in the world and reminding yourself of the community around you is a great way to feel less lonely.
Romanticize / make time alone fun. Light a candle, buy yourself pretty flowers, pour yourself a glass of wine or make a yummy meal. Being home alone doesn’t have to be sad and boring. Romanticize your life alone by adding elements that make it special. When I lived in New York, I went through a bad breakup and Sundays were really hard for me. So I created a Sunday ritual: Hot yoga to get a good sweat in → Sweetgreen for lunch → Whole Foods to buy groceries for the week → Meal prep so I felt ready for the week → Order in a yummy dinner and watch a movie. Instead of dreading my Sunday’s alone, I learned to love them.
Remember that feeling lonely is a universal feeling, regardless of relationship status. These emotions can come up if you are single or in a relationship. There are plenty of couples who feel so alone in that relationship despite having “companionship.” So just remember that being in a relationship does not solve all of your problems and it certainly does not free you from difficult emotions. Yes, you may be single and feeling lonely but you are also able to live life on your own terms without worrying about someone else.
It’s important to remember that these feelings are not permanent, they are part of the ups and downs that come with being single. So allow yourself to feel it and acknowledge it. And then lean into these habits so you can move forward and find yourself in a happier and much less lonely place. Because the last thing you want to do is find yourself in a relationship just to avoid loneliness and not because you found the right person.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
