How To Get Back Into Dating
I am a huge supporter of taking breaks in dating. There are a lot of different reasons for taking a step back - it’s not feeling aligned for you, your schedule has other priorities or you need space after a break up. I go through moments where I just really don’t feel like dating and so I take a step back and this allows me to reset and prioritize other things in my life. I find that when I return to dating after a break, I’m refreshed and excited again. This summer has been very busy between travel plans, moving apartments and just life in general. So I have paused dating the past two months and it honestly felt really good. I just did not have the time or mental bandwidth so I didn’t force it. But now I’m ready and excited to dive back in.
So how do you get back into dating after taking time off?
Create A Timeline - When I take a break, I always set a timeline for when I am going to start dating again. This allows me to really take a step back without having to think about when to start again while also preventing me from pushing it off longer. These breaks shouldn’t turn into forever so setting that return date will hold you accountable. For example, I had a very busy June and July so I told myself August 1st is when I will start dating again. And that’s exactly what I did. On August 1st, I signed up for the apps and started putting myself out there.
Mindset - The purpose of a break is to give yourself time away from something that is not sparking joy in your life. This break allows you time and space so that you are excited and have a more positive mindset when you do start again. Now that I’ve had time off, I’m looking forward to dating again. But there are no expectations here. We are just dipping our toes back in, having fun and seeing what happens.
Set Intentions – It’s important to go into dating with clear intentions of what you are looking for and how you want to experience dating. For me, I am intentionally dating because I want to find a long term partner. But at the same time, I am just dipping my toes back in, having fun and seeing what happens. There should not be any expectations here that you are going to meet the love of your life right away just because you had a break. Focus on making dating fun again so you can enjoy yourself and the journey.
Don’t Overdo It - You don’t want to burn out quickly and need another break next month. Don’t sign up for every app out there and set up three dates in the first week. I mean if you want to, more power to ya! But it might cause you to feel overwhelmed or exhausted by dating very quickly. Pick 1-2 apps to sign up for and make plans or lean into your hobbies that get you out of the house and into the real world. Start filling your life with fun things that simultaneously put you in situations to naturally meet people IRL.
Dating can be exhausting so it’s important to listen to what you need and take breaks when necessary. But it’s also important to get back out there. Remember why you are dating. Checking back into your why will help you realign with the purpose behind all of this. And most importantly, don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the journey.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
