How To Manifest Your Ideal Partner
Manifesting your ideal partner is all about having a clear picture of that person. By getting specific and having clarity around what values and qualities you're looking for in a partner, you are more likely to attract that person and stop settling for someone that is not right for you.
So how do you create that clear picture of what you are looking for?
First, decide what is important to you in a partner by writing down your need to have’s and your nice to have’s. There is a very clear difference between these two categories.
Need to have is a non negotiable for you when it comes to a partner. They are qualities, values, behaviors that you absolutely need in your person.
Nice to have is something you would like in a partner but it’s not necessarily something that if missing, would be a problem / deal breaker for you.
Make sure these are true compatibility qualities and not just surface level bonuses. For example: he likes to travel or he owns a home (surface level bonuses) vs he makes me feel safe when I come to him with something that is bothering me or he gets along well with my friends and family (true compatibility qualities). This should mainly be about who this man is as a person and how he shows up authentically day to day and in a relationship.
Next, figure out what your red flags and deal breakers are in a partner. A red flag doesn’t mean you should immediately peace out, it means that you should pause and take note of the behavior / quality and find out more information. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker, but it is a circumstance or behavior that you don’t want in a long term relationship. However, sometimes with communication this can be worked through.
A dealbreaker is something that you absolutely do not want in a partner. When a deal breaker is shown to you, it immediately leads to ending that relationship. It does not necessarily have to be something inherently wrong, but could simply be something that does not align with you.
Why is this important when manifesting your ideal partner? Without understanding what you need and want in a relationship / partner, you are going to be too open to the wrong opportunities and then miss out on the right opportunities. By lowering your standards, you are de-prioritizing your own needs and this will only lead to settling and not being content in your relationship. Gaining clarity around each of these categories, allows you to quickly identify if a potential partner is not the right person for you so you can stop wasting time with people who are not the right fit. Ultimately, with this clear picture of your ideal partner, you are much more likely to attract that person and stop settling for someone that is not right for you.
While this will look different for each individual person, there are some important red flags to look out for in the initial stages of dating
He does not take initiative to make plans to see you. If he is not consistently and proactively scheduling and planning dates for you then that is definitely a red flag. You want someone who is consistent and reliable while also showing their interest in continuing to get to know you. Remember, effort directly correlates to interest.
Disappears without communicating why. People have a lot going on in their lives, much of which has nothing to do with you. So yes, sometimes men truly are busy or have something personal going on and they don’t have the time or bandwidth to invest in you. But the key here is when they don’t communicate what is going on and instead just go MIA without explaining why they are not free for a date or might be quieter via text. This could be a sign that they are not interested, they have an avoidant attachment style or they don’t know how to effectively communicate.
If he says he isn’t looking for anything serious or doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Believe them when they say this. If you are looking for something serious then they are telling you that you are not on the same page and therefore don’t align. If you are also not looking for anything serious or are not sure what you’re looking for then this could be totally fine. But for someone who is intentionally dating this should technically go in the deal breaker category.
Inconsistent communication where he is hot and cold. Consistency in a relationship, especially in the beginning stages is key. So if their texting / communication changes from hot to cold then this could be a sign that they are unable to provide that consistency. Opening up a dialogue with that person around their hot and cold communication will give you insight into where they stand.
Now that we have listed a few red flags, let's talk about some green flags during the initial stages of dating.
He is proactive and consistent when making plans with you. Again, remember that effort directly correlates to interest. So if he continues to schedule and plan dates, then this is a great sign that he is not only interested but willing to put in the time and effort to get to know you.
He communicates clearly and effectively. Communication is key when dating, especially as you are getting to know someone during the early stages of dating. It’s a window into how he is going to handle different situations and conflict in a relationship and as your partner.
He listens to you and asks questions based in curiosity. If he is asking you deep and thoughtful questions then this shows his genuine interest in getting to know you. But it’s not just about asking the questions, it’s also about if he is engaged and listening to your answers. You will know if he is when he remembers your stories, facts and likes through future conversations and some of his own actions. For example, if you mention that you love wine so on your next date he takes you wine tasting.
He respects your boundaries. This one is the most important green flag to look out for. There are always going to be personal boundaries that you set with a partner, and their ability to respect it will let you know if you have a considerate and thoughtful partner who not only respects you but the relationship. Without respect for boundaries, the relationship is already in an unhealthy place.
So grab some pen and paper and really take the time to think about each of these categories. Sit in your thoughts and feelings and get super specific and clear around what your partner looks like and how they show up for you, the relationship and in day to day situations. As you evolve and grow, some of these categories may evolve and grow as well and that’s okay. Come back to this list to make edits but also to remind yourself of what you ultimately want in your person. And one day, that person will be here just as you manifested them.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
