Single For The Holidays
There’s just something about this time of year that gets a lot of single people feeling down and in their feelings about their relationship status. Maybe it’s the holiday rom-coms, the jewelry commercials, the cold weather that makes you want to be cozied up with a partner or the dread that Uncle Jimmy will drunkenly ask if you’re still single.
It all makes complete sense why this time of year is tough when you’re single.
But I have to be honest, I’m single and don’t feel down at all about my relationship status. And trust me, I have zero prospects right now so that’s certainly not why.
So why am I not feeling bummed this holiday season and am instead super excited to spend the holidays single?
The Holidays Are Tough No Matter What
I’ve been chatting with a lot of friends and family lately - single, in relationships, married - and it sounds like everyone is going through it right now. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this time of year can be tough. If it’s not being single that has you down, it could be a lot of other contributing factors. While it certainly doesn’t make me feel good to know that so many people in my life are having a tough month, it reminds me that we’re all in this together no matter what we are going through. And if being single is the main contributing factor to my mood right now, then I’m doing just fine.
Fun Holiday Activities
There are so many fun holiday activities out there right now for you to go do - ice skating, christmas markets, holiday themed bars, christmas lights. And yes, I know this can be triggering because maybe you want to do this with a partner. But that shouldn’t stop you from participating. Grab your friends or have a solo date and experience these activities. And you never know who you could meet out and about organically at some of these activities. I just went to a christmas themed bar with some of my friends and we had the best night - highly recommend!
A Much Needed Break From Dating
The holidays are the perfect time to take a break from dating. And to be honest, after an up and down Fall dating season, I’m honestly happy to have a bit of a break. I’m taking this time to get off the apps, focus on myself and to reset. I’m a huge believer in taking breaks from dating especially when you’re not feeling it. And this month so many people are traveling and busy with holiday parties that it doesn’t leave much time for dating anyway. So take this time for yourself to relax, reset and get ready for the new year.
No Shame
You’re allowed to feel down about being single this time of year! It’s not about ignoring those emotions because it’s completely normal. Instead, acknowledge how you’re feeling and then do something that you know will put you into a more positive mindset. If I’m feeling down, I go for a walk, make plans with friends or have a fun solo day. Acknowledge the feeling and then take action to move forward.
December Is Just Another Month
Let me repeat - December is just another month on the calendar. Sure, there are more things that remind you of being single. But it’s also the perfect month to set yourself up for success in the new year. I’m taking December to build momentum for 2024 by setting my 2024 intentions, going through my budget for next year (I know, so much fun!) and generally getting my mind and body in a good place so I can start 2024 off with a bang.
Now let’s chat about how to respond to a loved one when they ask about your dating life during the holiday season. Let’s imagine Uncle Jimmy comes up to you and asks if you’re still single or if there is anyone special in your life. I recommend just simply answering, “Nope, still single! Just really enjoying my single life right now and focusing on myself”. If he pushes you on why you’re single then I would say “I just haven’t met the right person and I’m not willing to settle”. I would even throw in some other great accomplishments from this past year. Tell them about the promotion at work or the amazing trip you went on. Shift the focus of the conversation from being single to all the other things you have going for you! This shows that you are happy in your life and that being single is not a bad thing at all!
Just remember - everything in life, especially being single during the holidays, is about mindset. Do what feels good for you during this holiday season so you can start the new year feeling your best. With a brand new year comes so many opportunities and possibilities that are right around the corner. And why not start that now in the month of December by enjoying yourself, resetting and spending quality time with friends and family.
If you’re struggling this holiday season, I’m offering a free 1:1 thirty minute coaching session where we can work through how you’re feeling and create an action plan to get you through this season and ready for 2024. Just DM me on Instagram @alexbarroncoaching or email me at alexbarron@alexbarroncoaching.com if you’re interested!
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
