My Egg Freezing Journey
I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. It’s just something innately that I knew I was meant to be at some point in my life. And becoming a mom was never something I worried about. Even after a serious relationship ended that I thought would lead to marriage and a family, I fully embraced my single life without worrying too much about my future. But then as other potential relationships came and went, and as I entered my 30’s, I did start to worry. I started to think about whether this image for my future was going to happen. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and look into egg freezing.
I knew there was no other option for me but to freeze my eggs. Because as each year passed, I knew with even more certainty that I was going to be a mom. Whether it’s later in life with a partner or if it’s on my own, this was something I was not willing to give up. I wanted the insurance policy that no matter what path my life took, this would always be an option for me.
I want to preface this post by acknowledging the privilege I have to be sitting here, telling my story about freezing my eggs - not only once, but twice. The privilege that I have the means, the resources and the support that so many do not have. It makes me incredibly sad to think about the number of women who want the opportunity to freeze their eggs and can’t. It makes me incredibly angry to think about how this service is not free or at the very least, more affordable. And it makes me incredibly frustrated that most companies do not offer insurance that covers this. I truly hope that with more people talking about egg freezing, this will change. But it would be deeply ignorant of me to not acknowledge how rooted in privilege this entire story is. And while I experienced moments full of different emotions, which are all so real and valid, thinking about how lucky I am helped me shift my mindset in those moments.
So in March 2023, I found a fertility clinic I trusted (shout out to Aspire Fertility in Austin, TX) and decided I was finally ready to move forward with the process. I started by getting bloodwork and an ultrasound to see how my egg count and blood levels looked. While the ultrasound went well, my blood work came back with lower than expected AMH levels. This was the first sign that my egg count was maybe lower than what I was hoping for. And this was also the first time I really got emotional during this process. I was learning so much about my body and how it works while also trying to process what all of these tests even meant.
Something that is important to remember is egg count does not equal how fertile you are. Egg quantity and egg quality are two different things. And it was hard to wrap my head around how a lower egg count didn’t mean I was less fertile. But to break it down for you, how it works is that all women are born with a certain number of eggs but that number is completely different for each person. And that number is not something that we can affect or change. Every cycle, we release a different number of eggs. Some cycles you might release more and some cycles you might release less. So when you are younger, you have more eggs and that number declines as you age. But again, how much it declines depends on each person. The egg quality can’t be determined until you go through the embryo or IVF journey. So while I might have a lower egg count, the quality could be very high. And all you need is one good egg to make a baby.
I want to acknowledge how daunting this process can sound and I think that’s what makes a lot of people put it off. But once it starts, you will be surprised by how quickly and easily it all happens. Before I knew it, I had ordered the medication, went through training on how to give myself the shots and received my egg freezing calendar.
And then Day 1 of my shots was here. I will admit, I am not nervous around needles at all. Getting shots or blood drawn does not really faze me. But giving myself a shot is a different story. I was definitely nervous. And to make that first time even more stressful, one of the shots you have to mix and set up yourself as if you’re the main character in Breaking Bad. Thankfully I had a friend come over who also attended the training with me to confirm I was not completely screwing it up. What I kept reminding myself was that this can’t be rocket science. Because if it was, they would never trust people to do this by themselves without a medical professional present. Despite that, I still couldn’t believe I was about to give myself a shot. But my friend counted down 3-2-1 and there I was administering my first shot. And then 3-2-1 the second one was done.
I promise you it was really not that bad! The needles themselves are very small so it’s truly not that painful. Maybe a quick prick and a bit of burning. But before you know it, you’re done. And you have a hit of adrenaline after. Like holy shit, I just did that! And you realize not only how badass you are for doing this but also - men could literally never. I will admit that the first few days I had thoughts like “I can’t believe I have 10 days of this”. But by Day 3, it starts flying by. You get used to mixing that one shot and you become more confident each day. Halfway through, they added a third shot but by then I had it down to a science so adding a third didn’t bother me.
Every other day I was going in for bloodwork and an ultrasound to check in on my progress. They can see how my follicles (aka eggs) are growing to determine if I need more or less of the medication and when my actual retrieval will be since that is a moving target based on progress. As my process continued, I realized that the number of eggs my body was producing was not even half the amount I was hoping to retrieve. The number I ideally wanted was based on my age and family planning goals so everyone is different in terms of their own personal goals. I was starting to feel some disappointment as the retrieval approached but tried my best to stay optimistic about the outcome.
Throughout the process, I wasn’t really affected too much. Besides feeling bloated and a little more tired than normal, I overall felt totally fine and was able to work normally and go out with friends. The only other disruptions to my life besides the shots were no sex, alcohol or working out. Which just meant a lot of long walks and mocktails. I do want to note that everyone is different when it comes to this process. I’ve had friends experience more symptoms than I did like cramping or needing to take naps throughout the day and some experience similar ones to myself. Every person and every body is different.
Before I knew it, it was retrieval day. I arrived at the fertility clinic bright and early, received my sleepy meds and was wheeled into the procedure room. They put you under local anesthesia and the whole procedure takes about 20 minutes. It’s honestly the best nap of your life. I actually asked my friend if the retrieval had already happened when I woke up because it went by so quickly.
After they woke me up, they let me know that the procedure was successful and told me the number of eggs they retrieved. But the number they told me was much lower than what I was hoping for. Not even half of my overall goal. My immediate reaction was to start crying. I think it was a mix of emotions coupled with hormones and coming off of anesthesia. But it was hard to hide my disappointment. I took the rest of the day to rest and process my emotions.
The reoccurring thought I had was what if this doesn’t work? What if egg freezing isn’t enough? While egg freezing gives some sort of insurance, it is certainly not a guarantee. It only takes one egg but as I mentioned before, the quality of the eggs you retrieve are not determined until further into the IVF process.
Being single definitely challenges your image of the future and how things are going to work out. In my gut I know I will meet my person and we will have a family one day. But there is also a part of me that sometimes thinks okay what would my life look like if that doesn't happen for me? And whether it does or not, I know I still want a child to be in my future. But the reality of my egg freezing results made me also challenge that future. I have so much love to give and even if I don’t find a partner to give that love to, I at the very least want to give that love to a child. But is there a third option where neither of those things happen? It was definitely a dark and difficult place to go to. And not one I had ever considered. So I decided then and there that there was no other option but to do a second round.
I wanted to give my body a bit of a break so decided that next Winter would be a good time. This not only gave my body time to rest but also gave me the opportunity to start fertility acupuncture and go off birth control. While there is no medical evidence that fertility acupuncture leads to a higher retrieval, so many women shared stories about how they saw better results with the acupuncture. And I wanted to set myself up for success with what I could control. Even if it increased my egg count by 1-2, that could make or break if I get to my goal.
I started the second round of egg freezing in February 2024. The second time around was much easier because I knew exactly what to expect and what to do. Administering the shots came back to me quickly and felt like such a breeze compared to the first time. I also recommend doing this in the winter months because so many people are laying low and doing dry January. So socially it was a much easier experience as well because I took it easy while most of my friends were doing the same due to detoxing and cold weather. Much like the first round, I mostly felt a bit more tired at the end of the day and some bloating but otherwise was able to continue on with my life as I normally would.
During my first ultrasound appointment, we were able to see how many follicles I had growing. Again, I was faced with the disappointment that my numbers were lower than what I was hoping for. I continued to remain positive and grateful for what my body could do. And just kept reminding myself that it’s all about quality, not quantity. So I had to let my body do its thing and see what happens.
And then it was retrieval day. This day was super easy, especially because I had done it all before. Overall, the procedure went great and they were able to retrieve a handful of eggs which got me close enough to my overall goal. While I did not hit my target number, I feel that I am close enough and am not considering a third round.
I can’t express enough how worth it this whole process has been. I know how daunting and scary it can sound but if you want kids in the future and if you have the opportunity to do this, then I urge you to see if egg freezing is the right choice for you. My hope is that with more people talking about their experience, more women will be informed and feel supported to move forward. My even bigger picture is that this process becomes more affordable and accessible to all women. It’s so sad to me that this is something so many women do not have the opportunity to even consider. I hope sharing my journey was helpful to even just one woman who is thinking of doing it or just one woman who is in the middle of the process and knows she is not alone.
Check out my interview on The Today Show about my egg freezing journey - linked here!
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
