Shoot Your Shot
Shooting your shot is a term that means you are going to take things into your own hands by going for what you want without waiting on someone else to take the initiative first. This comes up a lot in dating because if no one takes a chance by making the first move, then everyone will be stuck in singledom forever. And while dating culture has made some modern movements, there are still many traditional aspects of dating. For example, the idea that the man should make the first move. But in today’s day and age, anyone should be able to make that first move, regardless of gender.
So why should you shoot your shot?
Bypass the dating game – Dating can feel a lot like a game of cat and mouse. And it can also be frustrating to wait for someone else to make a decision. By making the first move, you are making your intentions clear and acting with intention which eliminates the game aspect of dating.
Feel empowered – Regardless of the outcome, shooting your shot shows confidence. I’ve talked to lots of men and women who both say that when they get approached or someone shows interest, it’s a huge compliment and they have a lot of respect for that person. Not only are you showing major confidence, but you’re also giving yourself a confidence boost that will leave you feeling good about yourself and motivated to keep putting yourself out there.
Take control of your dating life – Instead of relying on someone else to take initiative, put the power into your own hands. By waiting for someone else to reach out or approach you, you’re giving them control over your dating life and what happens next. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Control the controllable. So if you are interested in someone, make it known and make it happen.
It's clear that there are some major benefits to making the first move. But actually doing it and how you do it can feel overwhelming. Here are a few easy ways to shoot your shot.
Outreach on a dating app – The rules around who makes the first move certainly goes out the window when it comes to apps. If you are interested, swipe left and start the conversation. Don’t be scared to use roses on Hinge if you’re really interested. There’s been this narrative that roses are cringey but why is making a bit of an extra effort cringey? It’s a feature on Hinge so use it.
Slide into someone’s DMs – Social media is the newest dating app. People are looking each other up and connecting with new people through social media profiles. It’s become a part of the dating world to slide into their DMs so if you haven’t yet, why not give it a shot? It’s also low stakes because if they don’t answer or don’t see it, who cares? There isn’t a feeling of direct rejection with this one. And it’s becoming a more popular way to engage people romantically.
Approach someone IRL – I know this one might sound the scariest but again, you have to go for what you want in this life. Think about the worst case scenario here. They say they already have a partner or say thank you but no thank you. It’s not so bad when you really think about it. Start a conversation casually and feel out the vibe. You’ll know if there is a vibe and in interest. Worst case, there isn’t a mutual romantic interest and you’ve had a nice brief conversation with a stranger. Plus you’ll walk away with that confidence boost and realization that approaching someone IRL isn’t so hard after all.
It's important to feel empowered in your own dating life and shooting your shot is a great way to do that. Instead of blaming external factors for why dating sucks, take control of the controllable. All you can control is yourself so why not do what you can to make improvements and make things happen for yourself?
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
