The Ups And Downs Of Dating
Dating is like anything else in life. There are going to be ups and downs. That’s just how life works, things ebb and flow. One week you are loving being single and the next you are hating it. One week you are having a lot of fun with darting and the next you are bored. It’s important to understand that this is just part of the cycle. How can you truly appreciate the amazing ups if you have not experienced the downs? But what you don't want is to get stuck in that down.
So let’s say you are in a down moment, how do you get out of it?
It’s a cycle - Mindset is key here so when you are in a down moment with dating and being single, remind yourself there has to be an up moment coming around the corner. That’s just the nature of life. Look forward to that up and get excited for it.
Stay busy - If your dating life is not going so great, focus on other things that will make you happy. Dating can’t be the only thing that creates happiness in your life. So lean into those other things, stay busy and your focus won’t be on the parts of your life that you're not as happy with.
Take a break - I am a huge advocate of stepping away from dating when you’re feeling drained and it’s no longer aligned for you. Sometimes singles feel like they always need to be dating and putting themselves out there. But if you’re head and heart isn’t in it then you won’t be showing up as your most authentic self. Take some time away and come back to it when you are ready. Just make sure to recognize if you truly need a break or if you’re letting one situation deter you.
Pep talks - Find a friend who can pump you up when you’re feeling down. And even better than a friend, pump yourself up! I know it can feel silly but looking in the mirror and giving yourself a confidence boost can really help shift your mindset. And that doesn’t just apply to your dating life, it will help in all areas of your life.
During the down moments is exactly when learning to enjoy solo time is important. Instead of looking at alone time as sad and lonely, look at it as a time to reset and focus on yourself. Enjoying time alone allows you to not be dependent on a busy dating life in order to be happy. Also, enjoy the solo time now because it’s not going to last forever. There will come a time when you have a partner so that time is much harder to come by.
Above all else, remember how quickly life can change. You can go from no dates to multiple dates, from a good date to a bad date and from single to in a relationship. So keep your head up and ride the crazy dating wave. And before you know it, you’ll have one good date that reminds you why dating is fun and brings you back up again.
Interested in working with me as a coach? Here are a few ways to work with me!
The Dating Blueprint - a 3-month 1:1 coaching program designed specifically for the motivated woman who is ready to work from the inside out to embrace being single, enjoy the experience of dating, and make time to date with intention so they can find a long-term partner with the qualities and values they are looking for.
The Dating Blueprint Community - a safe space with weekly live trainings, consistent support from me as a coach and a public forum to ask for advice and to discuss dating with other single women going through the same ups and downs of dating and being single.
Attachment Theory Decoded - an in depth look at attachment theory with an assessment that unlocks your unique attachment style and a 1:1 coaching session for a full debrief on your results and how they affect your dating life.
The 6 Pillars to Creating a Dating Life You Love and Attracting Your Ideal Partner - a FREE guide that takes you through steps needed to face your fears and tackle your limiting beliefs head on so you can embrace being single and look at each dating experience as a fun and expansive opportunity.
Free Flow Coaching - If my program options aren’t for you but you are interested in working together, then let’s chat about a more free flow 1:1 coaching option. I offer three or six month packages.
